February 20, 2013
Struggles & Victories
Life has been good recently (to catch a glimpse of what I mean specifically, check out my last post!). There is truly little I can complain about: I am blessed by a loving husband who is kind and gentle and enjoys me (and I him!); my in-laws are wonderful (we had a great meal and catch up with them yesterday!); my parents and brother are fun and God-honoring and we have a great relationship. There’s a roof over my head and food in my fridge and I have a great job that I enjoy.
So why do I feel a bit down these days? A bit like complaining and, frankly, having a bit of a pity party? Of course we all have days like this (the now-popular phrase and hashtag “#FirstWorldProblems” comes to mind) and it’s okay to be down and recognize what your problems are in the moment – it’s all relative. BUT…it’s not a place I can stay. In fact, life gets worse and I get more bitter if I stay focused on the stuff that gets me down, however relevant it might be. More than that, it was a bad decision to memorize Philippians 2:14: “Do everything without grumbling or complaining…” Really? It’s always in my mind! But I wanted to share a few things that have been putting me off and that require me to take action and make some change:
- Time with God. As per my 2013 goals, I’ve been more committed to spending time with God – not because I “should” or “have to” but in order to know him deeper. I think I’ve slipped into the realm of reading his Word and even journaling without remembering to seek his face for the sake of knowing Jesus better. I want to go in, dig deep and focus on our relationship, not just read a few chapters and call it a day. And it changes my day and view and attitude immensely when I do and don’t take time for him (*note to self*).
- My eating. It’s controlling me, not the other way around! I reposted this photo on my Facebook page and have been enjoying the discussion it’s prompted so far:
Lots of good thoughts over there and the discussion goes deeper and in different directions than what you might first think! But overall, I just don’t feel like I’ve been a good example of this recently. Sure, I eat healthy foods. And yes, I also eat unhealthy ones. But I think more than that I just haven’t been super balanced recently – just eating lots of everything and not controlling myself much. You know I’m not one for restriction but I don’t feel good when I let myself go too much. Still trying to see that change in my body (those 5-7 lbs I’ve referenced that I gained and cannot get off!) – but that won’t happen unless I treat my body well!
- My lack of plans/outings. Mikey’s going strong in school and needs time to study and get caught up on his regular work and Survive & Thrive details, which is fine except that I’m not the best planner when left to my own devices! I need to make plans, to get out and do things, to not let his weekend at home make me stuck at home (although I do love creating a supportive atmosphere at home for him to study!).
However, there are some victories in the midst of my struggles too…
- I’m realizing that I am a work in progress and am more or less celebrating my body. I have my days, sure, but at the same time I am learning to celebrate being me and being fit, capable and healthy. There are also days I realize that all this doesn’t matter in the long run – at least it’s not the bottom line. And sometimes those thoughts and time spent worrying about my body and health just are not worth the rest of life – people, work, life events, God!
- I am loved by a God who reaches out toward us on the idea of grace and forgiveness – so I can get back up again after a bad few days of eating or some negative self talk (working on it!) for bigger reasons than because “I’m worth it” or “My body deserves it” or “[insert fitness slogan on Pinterest here]” but because I am loved by God. Those are all good reasons, but knowing that I am sought after by God, that I am fueled by his love and that my life has been redeemed and repurposed gives me energy and life! And it needs to be a daily reminder for me to act upon it.
- I improved my pull ups! I LOVED working on this skill for the last 30+ days after finding this pull up program from a FitFluential friend Amanda who completed the program (her results were awesome! – and much cleaner than my pull ups). So, after sticking with it consistently and enjoying every minute, want to see how I did?! I started doing about 3-4 before I dropped, and yesterday I did:
Wahoo! …now that’s something to celebrate.
Do you ever get stuck in a rut in your food, your thinking, your relationships with God and others? How do you get out of it? Do you resonate with any of these struggles? And share some victories with me!
Thanks for being a good sounding board to me! I appreciate you guys and my blog being a place where I can be honest and chat about the good, bad and the ugly (pull up form). Live well & be well!